Dr Timothy Stanley is a British scholar of United States politics. He is also a blogger for The Telegraph and he really doesn’t like the Warhammer hobby much (at least, not anymore).
#1 – Should David Cameron Ban Warhammer?
There’s the odd quirky article about Warhammer every few months or so in the “main stream” news. Most recently (as far as I am aware), BBC had a go at Games Workshop during the debate surrounding Spots the Space Marine (and whether GW can claim the term “Space Marine”).
Dr Stanely, however, is less concerned with Games Workshop as a company, and more with his own (in retrospect unpleasant) experiences collecting a Warhammer Fantasy army or two.
I started small – a few skirmishes in the changing rooms, an armed confrontation in the library – and soon worked my way up to a massive army of faux-French knights called Bretonnians. I got the painting bug and by age 15 I was getting through 10, maybe 20 archers a week. We’re talking two coats and a bucketful of superglue. Most evenings I was as high as a kite.
His argument, in a nutshell, seems to be that wargaming is both addictive and inherently uncool (e.g. you can’t possibly have a collection of miniatures, Black Library novels AND a social life… widely known as the fourth law of thermodynamics).
What got me off the habit? Girls. In my first week at university I visited the room of another collector and his shelves were covered in Space Marines. I thought, “Dude, you’re not going to get any action at all.” So I threw away my Bretonnian army and tried to put my past behind me.
Even though Dr Stanely miraculously recovered, he evidently fears that most young boys do not have the iron will he displayed in kicking his glue-sniffing miniature-painting habits.
The reasonable solution, evidently, would thus be for the government to intervene and ban the lot.
But the war on collecting camp little miniatures is one worth fighting, Mr Cameron. If only to save the next generation of boys from the years of acne and sexual deprivation that inevitably follow.
Wargaming-abstinence prevents acne?
#2 – Thoughts?
Admittedly, the article tries for a light-hearted approach. The plea for the Prime Minister to ban the hobby is the (presumably) tongue-in-cheek conclusion to this article.
Still, the article is oozing with contempt for the Warhammer hobby, and the (very original) assertion that wargaming hobbyists are, without exception, hopelessly a-social boys and men (no women though…. Dr Stanely probably isn’t subscribed Joeyberry et. al.) seems genuine.
It’s a pity Tim Stanely had to go through a few rough patches during his youth and later studies (I am certain that without Warhammer miniatures it would’ve been smooth sailing all the way).
Than again, if he feels the need to blame the plastic toys, and not so much himself, for his periods of procrastination, Dr Stanely perhaps hasn’t yet truly overcome his issues, as he clearly thinks he has, simply by dumping some Bretonnians.
Z.
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